I’m not too sure how to say this. To be honest, I have been rather burnt out from writing so often and I am running out of things to write about rather rapidly. With this blog, I wanted it to become a place everyone could come to in hopes of learning photography. I wanted beginners who were hoping to learn landscape photography to search the genre on Google and be faced with my blog as the top result. Yeah, maybe that’s just me thinking that I am better at this than what I am. But the reality of it is that I have goals in life, and I don’t want anything to get in my way of those dreams. Throughout my entire life, I have been so afraid of failure that is has often debilitated me: I have stopped pursuing so many hobbies in the past because I have been afraid to fail. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.
I refuse to allow fear to hold me back
Every morning when I wake up – whether to the sound of my alarm or naturally – I feel like I can do anything. The world is in the palm of my hands, ready for me to either crush it under my grip or hold it up as high as I can, making it better than it already is. My mind, my body, my soul: though groggy, they feel great. This feeling makes it even easier for me to want to hold my little world up high in the sky.
But as the morning progresses, I begin to drown. The world grows too large for me to hold it. I place it on my shoulders and I struggle under its growing weight. My back begins to crack, my nose begins to bleed; my head hurts from straining and my body aches.
Morning turns to night and the world is crushing me
I no longer feel like I can do anything I want. No longer do I believe in myself. Instead, I feel as though the world would be better off with me dead. With the world crushing me, I am down on my knees, struggling to hold the world. As bad as it hurts, I continue on with the struggle, for I feel that if I do not do as much as I can to better the world, I will ultimately be labeled a failure. And that thought hurts me more than the crushing feel of being worthless to the world.
By nightfall, I lie in bed, waiting for the sandman to come to me
The world has forced me to lie down as it slowly crushes me; I am forced to watch it grow larger, threatening to consume my body completely. All the motivation I may have possessed in the morning is gone, ripped from my exhausted body. Any aspirations for my future have flew away, like birds in the early hours of winter. Without any energy left in my body, I allow the world to consume me. I give up.
When I wake up the next morning, the process repeats
Again, I hold the world in the palm of my hands, ready to be crushed or raised high in the sky. This time is different though. I am well aware of what is destined to happy, as it is the same as every other day. But this time…this time I want to change it. My fear of the world crushing me will no longer hold me back. I won’t let it; I can’t allow it. For if I allow it, then my goals will be crushed along with myself. And the goals I have for my future are far too great to allow them to be destroyed.
I want to move out to California after college; I want to open my own gallery for my photography; I want my name to be known all over the world; I want to be able to continue to write this blog and pursue my passion of landscape photography. I’ll probably work for a gallery for a few years until I feel confident enough to start my own; that way I won’t be going in blind, yah know?
With these thoughts in my mind, I crush the world
The fear of the world crushing me can no longer haunt me if the world does not exist.
No; I will collect the pieces of the earth, set them down on my desk, and rebuild a world of my own with those pieces. A world where my art, my writing, my goals, can all be heard; they are the centerfold of my world. Without them, my little world would not exist. So, I build my own world, working hard as I can.
And you should be doing the same
We live in a world where there are no restrictions. You can do whatever the hell it is that you want. Go ahead and travel the world; have no set home and live in hotels if that is what you want. In all reality, you only need $2,000 a month in order to do that, so go on and do it – make me jealous of you. Move to another country for a year and see what that’s like.
In short, just do whatever the hell you want to. Make your dreams come true. The only person stopping you is you. End of story.
Why are you allowing your fear to hold you back from doing what you want so badly? There are no excuses. Get off your ass and get to work. Even if you are told by everyone you know that you cannot make it happen, flip them off, and prove them wrong.
Walt Disney was told he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”
Steve Jobs was fired from his own company.
Albert Einstein was unable to speak until he was almost four years old, and his teachers declared he would “never amount to much.”
JK Rowling’s first Harry Potter book had been rejected by twelve publishing houses before being accepted.
Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard to start a business, which ultimately failed. He’s now worth 89.5 billion dollars.
Never Allow Fear to Hold You Back